A FRESH START: EMBRACING CHANGE AFTER RELOCATION
It has been a month since our move, and the British morning mist still feels like a sharp contrast against my memories of Singapore's warm skyline. Just a week ago, my family and I were visiting the quiet Somerset countryside, so different from Singapore's bustling streets. We are filling the week with country walks, fresh air, and familiar laughter with old friends. Moving to a new country is nothing short of a transformative journey. The early days are punctuated with hurdles—the chill of a new climate, homesickness, and the sheer magnitude of starting afresh. Facing these challenges and embracing change become stepping stones to deeper understanding and resilience.
This is the story of our fresh start and the lessons I continue to learn as I navigate our relocation journey. It is a testament to the challenges faced and the myriad of joys discovered through the act of deliberately slowing down to observe.
Realities of a Fresh Start
As the morning landscape differs drastically from what I am used to (exchanging ocean views with the English countryside), the unmistakable contrast of my previous life in Singapore hits me. I find myself nestled in the heart of nature, far from the urban hum I had grown accustomed to. This fresh start brings with it a mix of exhilaration and nostalgia.
Some of these issues are practical; others are more a matter of the heart. Ultimately, the things that bubble to the surface are aftershocks of the move, neither good nor bad, but rather just part of the transformation that comes with moving to a new country.
Admin tasks: Admin tasks have become the black holes of our time, sucking it in with a voracious appetite for paperwork, calls and emails. These are time-consuming but undeniably necessary. We need to open bank accounts, pay council tax, buy a car, find car insurance, find a rental property, buy new school uniforms, etc. The list is endless & rather boring!
Navigating local systems: Shifting from Singapore's urban quickness to this more slow-paced setting brings unexpected hurdles. Grappling with new systems is akin to learning a foreign language (thank goodness we are in an English-speaking country). Particularly for my youngest son who has higher needs, I spend a lot of time trying to wrap my head around seeking out the right support network and the intricacies of the NHS—a maze in its own right.
Emotional preparedness: Leaving behind a place I’ve called home for 16 years and stepping into the unknown is an emotional journey in itself. Not just for me but also for my family. My youngest misses Singapore, and I don’t blame him. It’s all he has ever known. Yet I understand that these are mere adjustments that can be overcome with time. I listen. Empathise and remind him to look forward and not focus too much on the past.
Positive impact: Despite the difficulties, one month into the move, and I know we have made the right decision. I see my children flourishing outdoors in the cooler weather. Their initial reservations give way to vibrant enthusiasm. Neither my kids nor my husband enjoyed Singapore’s humidity, and in the British weather, I see a change in their energy, calmness, and attitude. With every new discovery and friend they make, their energy and behaviour showcase a revitalised spirit, making this grand adventure worth every hurdle.
The Importance of Emotional Wellbeing
Moving to a new country is undeniably an emotional challenge. My family and I witness both the hurdles that we have to endure and overcome as we go through this transformative journey, as well as the beauty of a fresh start.
Embracing change is not just about a change in temperature; it is a change of life in every conceivable way. The emotional tide it brings is not something we can simply ward off with a jacket.
Personal well-being is an aspect one often forgets about, especially during such stressful times. I am a mother, and as with all mothers, my family—particularly my kids—will always be at the forefront of my mind. Yet I have chosen to take time out from my business for the month to dedicate my time not just to the emotional needs of my kids but also of myself.
Making friends with the localsA time to be conscious and mindful
Here are some things I’ve been consciously mindful of:
The Significance of Flexibility: If this relocation teaches me anything, it is my value of flexibility. One of the most important aspects of running my own business is that the business allows for flexibility, and there is not a more critical time that I need this flexibility in my life. I am thoroughly enjoying the slower pace as it gives me the headspace to think about where I want the direction of my business to go and what matters most to me. Often we can get bogged down with the day-to-day stuff that is superfluous to what really matters.
Routine as an Emotional Anchor: Finding my feet in this new terrain means setting up a routine. It becomes my touchstone, offering a semblance of normality amidst the unfamiliar. Every morning, come rain or frost, a hot cup of tea and a few moments of solitude anchor my emotions.
Be Open: Relocating, as adventurous as it sounds, also brings along its fair share of challenges. More than just the logistics, it is the internal journey that demands strength. From letting go of any expectations to adjusting to new ways of doing things, each hiccup teaches me the value of an open mindset. With every challenge, I find strength in seeing the silver lining, in believing that every stumble is a step towards growth.
Mindfulness Practices: Being in the present moment becomes more than a buzzword; it is my everyday mantra. Whether it is feeling the cooler breeze on my face or simply journaling while my kids play in the garden, mindfulness keeps me grounded.
Prioritising Self-care: Self-care is not indulgent; it is essential. I may have replaced a walk along the beach with a walk in the forest, but taking time for myself helps me recharge and respond to the challenges of relocation with renewed vigour.
An Open Mindset: As a coach, I understand that mindset is everything. A good fresh start hinges on having the right attitude towards the change. Embracing change, instead of resisting it, makes all the difference. An open mindset turns every unfamiliarity into a learning opportunity, every hiccup into a story worth telling.
Regular Family Meetings and Check-ins: With everything changing around us, our weekly family huddles become our compass. These moments allow us to voice our concerns, share our small victories, and remind each other that we are in this together. Particularly for my children, I am here to help build their emotional resilience through greater observation, listening, and being present.
A walk in our local woods Group Outings and Activities: Exploring our new neighbourhood as a unit becomes our weekly ritual. Whether it is a stroll through the local farmers’ market or a day trip to a new area with a playground at a local pub, these shared experiences strengthen our bond. It provides me with a way to be present for my children and to help acclimate them to the new country.
New Traditions in Our New Home: Forest walks, joining local festivities, or simply movie nights with British snacks – creating new traditions makes our new house feel like home. Involving my kids in creating these traditions not only helps them feel a part of the change, but they are also in control of it.
Being Conscious of Time and How I Spend It
The Singapore lights now feel like a distant memory. The air is crisper here, cooler, and the wind whistles different tunes. As I watch my sons explore the great outdoors for longer periods of time (and without the sweat!), unburdened by schedule, I can’t help but marvel at how different everything feels. This is not just a relocation of place but of pace. The slower pace of our lifestyle in the past month makes me realise that being conscious of how we spend our time is an essential part of this transition.
Daily sightings of wildlifeValuing the Slower Pace: The city's hustle has its charms, but there is something invigorating about the unhurried rhythm of our new life. Every morning as I sip tea at my parents-in-law's home, I have the privilege of gazing out of their kitchen window and being greeted by the sight of deer, pheasants, rabbits, squirrels, ducks, and doves - a thriving collection of wildlife that would make a Disney cartoon proud!
It’s times like these that I feel a gentle reminder. A nudge to embrace this pace, to let go of the frenzy, and to simply... be. To soak in the moments and relish the moments spent engaging and playing with my giggling kids. Within the span of a month of being here, my kids have exhibited remarkable growth and flourishing, even as our pace of life has slowed right down. This move is not just a change in location; it is an invitation to experience time differently.
Taking Breaks: August, with its warm sun and cool breezes, becomes a month of respite. As the world around me seems to take a deep, rejuvenating breath, I take one too. It is a conscious choice, setting aside this month to emotionally nurture my children and, more importantly, myself. For I know, come September, my work will demand my attention, and I need to be ready, heart and soul.
“Slow living isn’t about determining how little we can live with – it’s about working out what we simply can’t live without.”
As my family and I write our new story, I realise that time is not just ticking away; it is gifting us moments, memories, and lessons. And while the city lights might beckon someday, for now, I am cherishing the here and now, being conscious of time and how I choose to spend it.
Moving to a New Country: Adjustments & New Learnings
Moving to a new country is a change like no other. Gone are the bustling streets and sounds of Singapore, replaced by the serene landscapes of the UK. Our relocation is more than just miles; it is a journey of cultural adjustments, lessons, and embracing the change and the unexpected.
New Cultural Elements: There is a charm to our lifestyle right now - from the ritualistic 5 o’clock “tea-time” or mastering the art to say “pounds” instead of “dollars”, it’s endearing to watch my children immerse themselves in a new culture. I’m teaching my kids new things, like a new national anthem (thanks Spotify for our daily dose of “God Save The King”). And my eldest is suddenly cricket-obsessed thanks to the Ashes and begging us to play with him outside at any given chance. I am loving his enthusiasm. Less loving playing outside when it rains.
Wardrobe Adjustments: Clearly our tropical attire is completely inadequate in wetter and cooler climates. My children, who have spent their lives up to now living in shorts and T-shirts to beat the Singapore heat, now have to get used to throwing on raincoats and jumpers.
Making Room For The New: Our move is not trying to recreate Singapore in the UK. It is about cherishing those great memories while making space for new ones. We have replaced beachfront walks with forest walks and feeding wild ducks, deer, and other wildlife. Moving to a new country means making this new place a new home.
Embracing New Experiences: From attending the local county fairs to weekend drives in the countryside, every day is an adventure. We find joy in simple things, like taking walks and feeding wildlife. With every experience, we are not just tourists; we are becoming a part of the tapestry of our new home.
This relocation is not just a move; it is a journey of discovering, adjusting, and embracing. As we roll into the second month of our relocation, I am slowly realising that home is not just a place. It is a feeling, and we are finding ours, one day at a time.
Acknowledging the Struggles
I am not going to lie, trading the humid nights and city buzz of Singapore for the crisp air and quieter nights of the British countryside comes with its own set of challenges.
At the end of the day, it is vital to confront and accept the struggles of moving to a new country. The blend of excitement and novelty of a new place often shadows the anxieties and challenges. There are days when I feel out of place and overwhelmed. Moments when I miss the comforting chatter of my friends back in Singapore or the taste of delicious hawker food. Evenings when my children express their yearning for the familiarity of their old school, home, and friends.
However, the key is not to brush these emotions under the carpet but to acknowledge them. A positive mindset becomes my guiding light. With each challenge, I learn to find a silver lining, embracing experiences with an open heart and treating every hurdle as a learning opportunity. Flexibility is not just about adapting to the British weather but is also about moulding my mindset to thrive in unfamiliar territory.
And while personal strength plays its part, external guidance can be transformative. Through coaching, I have the tools that help me go through this big transition, tools that help me cultivate the right mindset for embracing change and owning that fresh start. And tools to help steer my children through this change.
Just as I manage to navigate this journey, drawing from my reservoir of positivity and adaptability, I believe that with the right guidance, you can too.
If you ever find yourself amidst the chaos of transition, yearning for a guiding hand, remember, with the right mindset and perspective, even the toughest challenges become surmountable.
Despite the challenges, every teardrop, every moment of uncertainty, the myriad of adjustments of moving to a new country, and those sudden pangs of homesickness, there are undeniable signs that this move is the best decision for my family and me. It is essential to remember that every change, every relocation, is essentially a fresh start.
General tips? Always stay open to experiences, anchor yourself with a new routine, lean into the local culture, and most importantly, seek help when needed.
Embracing change is not a challenge to be done on your own; you can find the right guidance for any transition you may be trying to overcome.
Here, amidst the serene landscapes and under the vast British skies, I find myself wholeheartedly embracing the present moment and eagerly looking towards the promise of what lies ahead. This journey is a testament to the fact that, with the right mindset and tools at your disposal, you can not only navigate change but truly thrive within it.